Endings are Hard
by WerewolvesAreReal
Summary: Or, the most paradoxical Deux ex Machina ever, wherein Chuck essentially averts the apocalypse to procrastinate writing the end. ChuckisGod. Warnings for rather severe blasphemy and swearing.


**Disclaimer; I do not own Supernatural, nor any of the characters, ideas, concepts, or other materials within.**

**Warning for a somewhat ridiculous amount of blasphemy. Also, my perception of God apparently involves a lot of swearing.**

* * *

**Endings are Hard**

**Or, the most paradoxical Deux ex Machina ever. Wherein Chuck essentially averts the apocalypse to procrastinate writing the end. ChuckisGod.**

* * *

Endings are hard.

Readers don't understand. They whine and grope about 'parallellism' and 'artistic unity' and 'tying loose ends' - everyone wants a different ending. And, seriously, the whole idea of 'omniscience' - that totally came _before _weird literary theories were made. Chuck sorta misses the good ol' days when everyone copied _his _style of writing...

Anyway.

Even other writers criticize, the bastards, though they have to understand. Seriously, ends are the _worst._

A beginning? That's nothing. Any sap can write a beginning. Anything can _be _a beginning. No one cares where a story begins so long as the ending is good. Chuck's first book began 'In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth'. Easy. Nothing complicated. No big messages or anything (aside from the whole creator-of-the-universe thing). Beginnings are easy.

But ends? Everyone wants fucking _meaning. _It's bad enough trying to write good endings for books, but the world as we know it? Shit, screw other writers, they have _no fucking right _to mock Chuck's endings until they have to deal with _that _clusterfuck.

Okay, he may, possibly, have been a little high while writing the book of Revelations. Don't judge. _You _try living since before time began and watching all your children and descendents slaughter each other in your name. Fucking depressing. At least he didn't go crazy as Mary. (Making Mary his immortal companion might, in hindsight, have been a poor lifestyle choice).

Anyway. Revelations. For one thing, the time of the Apocalypse hadn't come yet, and his angels had obviously not been made quite as Chuck intended, because they had _apparently _gotten antsy and a little psychotic after being left alone the past few centuries (millenia?) or so. Seriously, he had made them on the first day of the world, weren't they fucking old enough to watch _themselves? _This fratricide-filled mess recently - not okay.

So now Revelations was speeding along too soon, and - well, what did it all mean? Chuck had learnt a lot about writing recently, you see, and much as he resented current theories he sort of wanted a _meaning _for his big masterpiece now. But if everyone on Earth died, who would appreciate the ending, anyway?

And, seriously, _why _had he decided it was a good idea to have his children smite each other in some big showdown, again? He considered. Oh, yeah - he was pretty sure Gabriel had stolen his virgins that week. Pah. Still, not quite a genocide-worthy offence. He'd be sad to see even Lucifer go. The guy might be a brat, but he was family, you know?

But Chuck didn't want to just tear up the old pages. Instead, he rewrote them.

Except, well. Endings. You see the problem.

But, _but, _what if he wasn't the one making the ideas? What if he just... recorded what happened? Surely truth always had meaning...

Free will! Ha! Humanities gift. He would toss a few apocalyptic situations at some humans who seemed up to the task, revive them or provide coincidental miracles if necessary (hey, it was still free will if they had the will to _decide _how to react to those things, okay? Lay off) and hopeful end with minimal casualties. Or, you know, at least not destruction of the _entire _planet. If it went wrong, time travel, rinse and repeat. Easy.

Also, the fact that it made for a cool set of books/gospels? Fuck yeah. Maybe this apocalypse stuff wasn't such a bad idea after all.


End file.
